Review- The Road

Watching The Road, I couldn't help but think of a quote I recently heard on the television series True Detective.  In an interview a man makes a very morbid observation-

"...The hubris it must take to yank a soul out of nonexistence, into this... meat.  And to force a life into this, thresher.  Yeah so my daughter, she spared me the sin of being a father."

More than with that show, this quote rings true in the world of The Road- a world first imagined by Cormac McCarthy (acclaimed author of No Country For Old Men) and brought to chilling "life" by director John Hillcoat.  Put mildly, The Road is no feel-good flick.  Rather it examines the darkest elements of humanity at our most desperate and refuses to blink.  On the surface this film tells the story of a man and his son's struggle for survival in a dystopian future.  And at face value, the film is nothing short of stunning.  But The Road is also, at its very best, an examination of the things we do for our children.  Using both major and minor plot devices to brutally drive its point home, The Road is a unique experience.  Not a fun experience, but undeniably unique.

The Road opens with a brief glimpse of a beautiful landscape before plunging us into its world of filth and violence.  The year is unclear, but we find ourselves somewhere in the near future.  Life all but ceases to exist.  Plant and animal life has vanished entirely and the traces of human life are rapidly disappearing as the food supply has dried up.  A character known only as The Man (played with typical brilliance by Viggo Mortensen) begins a hopeless voiceover monologue.  He provides the exposition in a few defeated sentences.  Perhaps most troubling is that this apocalypse of sorts is just as inexplicable to the people inhabiting this tattered world as to those of us viewing it on a screen.  A bright light came, and everything died.  That is about as much explanation as we are ever given, or need for that matter.

The first bit of action we get is of The Man and his son, known only as The Boy (Kodi Smit-Mcphee) running for cover.  We see a single light coming down a tunnel which is slowly revealed as one of the many cannibal gangs that plague the remains of America.  One of the gang separates from the group to relieve himself and stumbles across The Man and The Boy.  The Man instructs the, well other man, that should he so much as look in the direction of The Boy, he'll shoot him with his revolver.  The cannibal calls his bluff and observes that The Man only has enough ammo to kill himself and The Boy and that The Man has likely never killed a man in his life.  Neither confirmed nor denied, The Man makes good on his promise and kills the cannibal, immediately fleeing deeper into the woods with The Boy.  He explains to the boy that they will never become what those men had become, even to survive.  We are the good guys.  They are the bad guys.

In a series of flashbacks it is revealed that The Boy was born into this world.  During the beginning days of the apocalypse The Woman (Charlize Theron) gives birth to The Boy.  Seeing the hopelessness of the world, she eventually decides to leave, though not before giving one of the most brief and heart-wrenching performances of her career.  The Woman disappears into the dark, unforgiving night never to be seen again.  It is a cruel mercy, but a mercy all the same as she points out that there are only 2 bullets in the revolver.  The Boy's only chance is with The Man.

The Boy and The Man continue along the road headed south, hoping to find warmer temperatures. They come across an abandoned storm shelter that is as close to heaven as the pair are likely to see in their travels.  The shelter is stocked with food, water and other survival necessities.  Hearing a dog and figuring people must be close behind, The Man hurries away from the shelter, loading as much as he can onto a cart. As they move they encounter other travelers, thieves, and families.  Most notably they run across an old man (Robert Duvall).  Initially The Man refuses to extend any sort of help to the man, who is clearly in need of it.  But after much coaxing from The Boy he gives in.  The Man and The Old Man have a conversation about God and their existence before The Old Man indicates that he doesn't think about death because he can't afford that "luxury".  This gives the man pause before he must once again set back out on The Road.

Before long The Man and The Boy reach the coast.  For those expecting Cocoa Beach, think more along the lines of the Jersey Shore.  It's a filthy hellhole of a beach, but provides an opportunity to bathe all the same.  As The Man bathes, The Boy sleeps.  The Man returns to find that they have been robbed and hobbles, shoeless, after the culprit.  Upon catching him, The Man uncharacteristically robs him of all of his possessions, including his shoes and underwear.  The Robber, alone and naked, begs or mercy as The Man and The Boy walk away.  Again, after much coaxing The Boy is able to convince the man to return The Robber's possessions, though he is nowhere to be found.  They leave the clothes and a can of their own food where they last saw The Robber and continue on.

The final scenes involve a shoot-out that sees The Man wounded, likely fatally.  The Boy's fate is all that remains.  To preserve the ending, we'll stop there, but sufficed to say it is similar in tone to No Country For Old Men.

The Road will leave an impression on anybody who sees it, that much is certain.  And honestly it is hard to say if it is a "good" film or not.  I would say more than good or bad, it is an important film.  It examines the hells we will wade through for our children, and the way they shape our character even in the face of dire adversity.  One common theme throughout the film is mercy killing.  At the end of just about every scene, The Man is left with a decision.  Does he kill his son and himself, or does he press on?  The exercise gets a bit played out, but is occasionally used to great effect.  The most memorable of these scenes is when The Man and The Boy are trapped in the bathroom of a house, cannibals closing in.  As the cannibals creep up the stairs, The Man presses the revolver to The Boy's head and pulls back the hammer while his finger twitches on the trigger.  More than most films, whether this is a good bit of conflict or a graphic misnomer is left entirely up to the film's viewer.  I tend to side with a good portion of the conflict stepping a bit further than what is actually needed.  If there is so much at stake, then why does The Man allow The Boy to scream when there are cannibals with assault rifles just yards away?  The film seems to meander in its graphic moments with little continuity to reinforce its sense if danger.  I have no problem with a film being graphic.  But if that is the direction you are going to take it in, you need to remain true to it when it is convenient as well as when it's inconvenient.  We only allow you to show us these ugly images under the pretense that there is a purpose behind it and when a young boy is conveniently allowed to scream even while he is deep in hiding, it makes us call bullshit on the entire environment you have worked so hard to craft.

Beyond the material, the cinematography brings McCarthy's world to stunning, depressing life.  The use of oranges, browns, blacks, and grays communicate better than any dialogue, just what state America has fallen to.  The camerawork is nothing short of masterful.  The long shots of the sweeping landscape are somehow beautiful, and peaceful in stark contrast to the close-ups which remain visceral and violent.

But the performances are what really bring this somber tale to death (saying they brought it to life seemed just a bit contrary to the themes of the film).  Viggo Mortensen is excellent, as always.  No surprise there.  However it is his counterpart, the young Kodi Smit-McPhee who really blew me away. He matches Mortensen, stride-for-stride, in what has to be some of the heaviest material in Tinsel Town.  His insistence that The Man continue to do the right thing even when it runs opposite to their own survival remains the heart of the story, without which would be unwatchably bleak.  Great performances by Charlize Theron, Michael K. Williams (of The Wire fame) and Robert Duvall round out what is sure to be the least fun you'll have watching a meaningful film for quite some time.  Or at least until you decide to watch Requiem for a Dream.

Overall Rating- 6/10

Features-The Jerk's 5 favorite Netflix shows 1/28/14

5.  Weeds- Remember when this show was good?  I mean really good and fresh?  Well I've gone back to discover that time, and what a time it was.  A suburban housewife selling weed to keep up appearances.  Before the cartels, and the tunnels, and New York there was just Nancy, Shane, Silas, Andy, and Doug.  It was funny and it was a joy to watch because the stakes weren't too high.  We never wanted Nancy to be in real danger, as much as we might have said we did.

4.  Law & Order: SVU- What a great, awful show.  It is the same formulaic show week in and week out, but God bless it.  There is something comforting about being able to sit down and know that within the time span of 42 minutes, Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Maloni are going to find a victim, narrow down suspects, find their killer/rapist/diddler/pornographer/serial whatever and mess him up.  The Wire, it ain't.  But still a solid way to kill an hour.

3.  American Dad- This one is a main-stay.  That is because I maintain after 3 years that this is the most rewatchable show on Netflix, and one of the funniest on television.  Stan is funnier than Peter, Francine is funnier than Lois, Roger is funnier than Brian and Stewie combined, and Haley is funnier than Meg.  For a show whose premise should make it insufferably political (as many Family Guy episodes are) the audience has remained small enough that it doesn't serve as a political mouthpiece for its creator.  It is wonderful.  Watch it.

2.  Lost- I've taken the plunge.  Into insanity, quite literally.  How can a show make so little sense and be so compelling?  Seriously?  I started watching Lost a few years back but this was before the days of Netflix Instant streaming (holy shitballs I'm old) and $50 seasons just weren't possible for a college kid with a drinking problem.  Not much to say about this one really.  If you're curious, watch it.

1. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia- This feature's variety may have died with the addition of IASIP to the instant streaming service.  It is the funniest show ever made.  And there are 9 seasons of it, each episode funnier than the last with very few misses in its history.  No show has brought me a fraction of the unbridled joy or laughter that Sunny has.  If you haven't met The Gang yet, I strongly suggest you take a few days off work/school and dig in.  You've got some viewing to do.

Blast from the Past- A Billy Wilder Double Feature

For the grand relaunch of Filmjerk, I thought it appropriate to start a new "segment" of sorts.  "Blast from the Past" will focus on the classics.  Given that the whole of Filmjerk tends to focus on post-1990 cinema, the term "classics" will include films up to that period in time. So don't be surprised to see films like Raging Bull lumped in with older films like The Great Dictator.  I've internally deemed a classic as any film that has a) affected the current landscape of modern cinema and b) holds up to repeat viewings in a different era.

Today we'll take a look at (arguably) Billy Wilder's 2 greatest works- Some Like it Hot, and The Apartment.  It is hard to view the films as works independent from one another given the remarkable similarities in style, tone, talent, and quality.  And while each has its merits individually (and we'll certainly take a look at those) the pair is much stronger than the sum of its parts.  Looking at film as the ongoing, everchanging landscape that it is, these 2 films left one, remarkably large footprint rather than 2 average-sized prints, and directors for decades have thanked Wilder for that.

First to Some Like it Hot.  What a wonderful flick.  It is wonderful in its concept, its execution, its simplicity, just about everything.  That being said, it does have its flaws as any film does.  Just 2 sentences in and I'm already finding this new segment sort of hard.  How do you criticize a masterpiece?  How do you look at the Mona Lisa and say "her forehead is enormous"?  With balls- that's how.  But let's talk about the plethora of beauty first.  Some Like It Hot stands the test of time like few films I've ever seen have.  It isn't a chore to watch.  You can sit down with a generation tailored toward Judd Apatow and Kevin Smith and they will be in stitches when Jack Lemmon comes home drunk, maracas in hand, claiming that he is engaged to the most wonderful man.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Some Like it Hot is a comedy of errors.  Sort of.  It is also a screwball comedy.  Sort of.  I guess I would call it a "screwball comedy of errors".  Loosely using tropes created by The Bard, Some Like it Hot is the story of 2 down on their luck musicians looking for work.  They find some work 100 miles away and have to borrow a car to get to the gig.  Upon arriving at the garage where the car is housed, they witness the murder of 7 Northside Chicago gangsters (an event we refer to as the St. Valentine's Day Massacre) and go on the lam.  Having heard of a gig in Florida, they see their chance for escape.  The catch?  The gig is for an all female band.  There is a quick device used to get the men employed and they head to the train station.  Upon arrival, there is some immediate suspicion, but nothing that the men (women?) can't handle.  Most important on the train is their introduction to Sugar Kane, played by Marilyn Monroe.  She is a tart with a drinking problem, but undeniably cute and bubbly.  They host a party to quickly gain some allies amongst the women, and perhaps set the stage for some slap and tickle later on.

They make it to Florida and Daphne (the monicker Jack Lemmon has selected for himself) is in favor of immediately hitting the road.  He argues that the mob will be looking for them in every band in America.  A fair point, Josephine (Tony Curtis's name of choice) explains that they will not be looking for 2 women playing in an all-female band.  Having had the chance to buddy up to Sugar, Josephine lays the groundwork for some tomfoolery of his own.  He "predicts" that rather than falling for another saxophone-playing ne'er-do-well (which he/she is) Sugar will find a well-intentioned millionaire.  A young and single one to boot.  While this is happening, Daphne has caught the eye of one of the elder residents of the hotel where they are performing named Osgood Fielding.  Dirty old man doesn't really do him justice.  He is a spoiled rich boy all grown up.  But he is lovable.  By God, is he lovable.

Later, at the beach, Sugar Cane is playing around with Daphne.  Josephine is strangely absent, but neither pays this much mind.  Sugar clumsily bumps into an over-the-top rich-looking fellow who introduces himself as Shell Oil, Jr.  Dear christ.  Really?  But Sugar pays no mind as she doesn't exactly have a lot of mind to pay.  Shell Oil, Jr. is very clearly Josephine dressed back up like a man with glasses on.  He explains that he has been unsuccessful in love and pulls the hard-to-get card early.  Daphne comes over to see what all the fuss is about and decides to take Sugar back up to the hotel room where Josephine should be to blow his/her cover.  Making a quick, thru-the-window change, Josephine is able to conceal her identity.  At about this time, Daphne receives an invitation from Osgood Feeling to join him on his yacht, but Josephine has other plans.  Daphne will convince Osgood that she has terrible seasickness and Josephine, Dressed as Shell Oil, Jr. will take their place on the yacht.  From here the two couples both have a romantic evening together.  Yes, even Daphne discovers the wonderful heart of Osgood Feeling.

In the final act the mob holds a "convention" at the exact hotel where the women/men are staying.  Through a series of hysterical errors, their identities are discovered and the rest of the film is spent with the pair avoiding being whacked whilst simultaneously avoiding blowing their respective covers with their respective lovers.  In one of the best conclusions ever written Osgood Feeling states the moral of the story "Well, nobody's perfect!" as they sail off into the sunset.

I promise in Wilder's hands the plot isn't half as confusing as what I just made it out to be.  Its simplicity adds to its spectacle and vice versa.  Wilder embraces all of the cliches of the genre, and those which he doesn't use, he creates.  There is something about not trying to break new ground that is ground-breaking.  The historical significance of this film is undeniable.  It brought drag to the masses- something that wouldn't be accepted again until Dustin Hoffman dressed in drag in a little film called Tootsie (even sparking a theatrical re-release of Wilder's classic).  Almost everything about this film is perfect.  Almost.  The casting is damn near spot on.  Jack Lemmon steals the film, but Tony Curtis keeps great pace as do the archetypal gangsters cast as Spatts and his posse.  And Joe E. Brown might be the cutest old man on film until Jack Lemmon re-paired with Walter Matthau for Grumpy Old Men 40 years later.  My biggest problem is with Marilyn Monroe.  Now smart money says Wilder probably had to attach her to the project in order to put these other 2 relative unknowns in drag on screen in 1959. But to me it is a bit of a shame.  She tries.  You can tell she tries.  And frankly it is refreshing to see Monroe play against type, going for the cute and bubbly rather than the scandalous and seductive.  But she just can't match the rest of the cast.

There are also a few issues with the story.  For one, the discovery by Spatts that these 2 women are, in fact the 2 men from the massacre is a little quick and contrived.  It was like Wilder went "Shit, this thing can't get any longer.  Well, let's cut out half of the third act."  Given the suspension of disbelief we have granted thus far in the film, it isn't overly distracting, but could have been improved certainly.  I also would have enjoyed seeing the men's transformation into Josephine and Daphne, but now I'm getting nit-picky.  Let's move to The Apratment, shall we?  I promise it'll be shorter.

I like The Apartment a bit more than Some Like it Hot.  While still a comedy, it has a decidedly more melancholic tone.  The Apartment is the story of C.C. Baxter (played once again by Jack Lemmon), a cog in a corporate machine.  In order to advance within his enormous company, he allows the use of his apartment to his superiors for their extramarital affairs.  When we meet Baxter, he is already about fed up with juggling 4 different bosses around.  It is leading to complaints from his neighbors and landlord, scheduling conflicts, and a general icky feeling.  But the promise of advancement keeps him true to his commitment to play the fool.  He begins a flirtatious relationship with Ms. Kubelik (Shirley MacLaine), who operates the elevator in his building and tries, unsuccessfully, to court her.

He is called into Mr. Sheldrake's (played by the legendary Fred MacMurray) office one day on the 27th floor.  This is huge.  Little does Baxter know, he is walking into a trap.  Mr. Sheldrake has heard about his arrangement with the other bosses and in a brilliant plot twist, requests exclusive use of the apartment for his own philandering.  With the promise of that promotion finally coming through, Baxter agrees.  He gets the promotion, but it doesn't take long to realize that Mr. Sheldrake's mistress is none other than Ms. Kubelik.  Baxter is heartbroken and begins dating much in the same way as the other executives he has seen before him.  One night he is getting drunk at the local watering hole and decides to bring a gal back to his apartment.  He walks in to find Ms. Kubelik unconscious, having attempted suicide by overdosing on his sleeping pills.

The rest of the story is about Baxter manning up.  He is promoted yet again, but his moral conflict is boiling to the surface.  As Ms. Kubelik continues to win his heart as she recovers in his apartment, he begins to see exactly what Mr. Sheldrake is.  Again, in another brilliant conclusion Baxter once more gives a key to Mr. Sheldrake.  A few seconds later, Mr. Sheldrake enters Baxter's corner office as he is packing up for the day and tells him that he gave him the wrong key.  Baxter states that he gave exactly the key that he meant to and that if this is what it takes to get the job, he can cram the job where the sun don't shine.  You go, Baxter!  Ms. Kubelik and Baxter presumably live happily ever after, but not before one of the most genuine, heart-touchiung scenes ever committed to celluloid over a simple game of Gin Rummy.

I have a harder time finding any criticism with The Apartment.  It is a near-perfect tale.  It is hilarious at times, heart-wrenching at others and both most of the time.  It boasts some of the greatest ensemble talent ever assembled and one of the greatest leading men of the past generation.  I can't say enough about Jack Lemmon as an actor.  He is beautiful.  That really is all there is to say.  Rare is the handsome man with perfect comedic timing, and Lemmon is his name-o.  If I were to change anything about The Apartment it would be that it occasionally slips further into gloom than I feel is necessary.  It at times loses sight that it is, in fact, a comedy.  While the suicide plot-line is absolutely necessary, I'm not sure that we need to see the brutal treatment of the doctor slapping Ms. Kubelik around to wake her up.  But I hesitate to even make these criticisms as to change anything about this film would be to bastardize it in some small way.

The Apartment and Some Like It Hot are classics now and were classics from the moment Wilder put pen to paper.  I don't think you'll find too many people who deny that.  But why?  Well they embrace what they are.  And rather than trying to revolutionize storytelling, they just strive to be the best at what they are.  And they succeed.  Some Like It Hot paved the way for The Apartment the following year.  Billy Wilder was Hollywood's funny-man.  Think a gentile Woody Allen of the golden age.  And the straightforward buffoonery of Some Like it Hot allowed him to explore deeper, darker comedy in The Apartment.  He was smart.  He kept what worked.  He shot both in black-and-white though technicolor had been the primary medium for over a decade, and he had faith that his leading man could make the leap from screwball comedy to dark comedy (some might even say drama).  Wilder gave us, with these 2 films, a permanent homage to a very particular place and time in Hollywood that people of my generation never got to experience.  And I thank him.

Overall Ratings
Some Like It Hot- 8/10
The Apartment- 10/10

Features-The Jerk's 5 favorite Netflix shows 8/22

It's been a little longer than a week since I was able to update the best of the best Netflix has to offer on the boob-tube.  But alas, I have returned with a list of what all of you Jerks should be watching.



5.  Deadliest Warrior- What a manly show.  "Let's take 2 killers and test their weapons to see who would kill who".  With warriors like Jesse James, Shaka Zhulu, and The Nazi SS, there is no shortage of carnage dealt forth in the labs.  Inaccurate as the tests may be, it is still just awesome to watch weird dudes with big guns tear stuff apart.

4.   American Dad-  Family Guy sucks pretty badly.  I hate to say that but it undoubtedly just sucks.  American Dad is a different story altogether.  Seth Macfarlane takes the "Like that time I"'s out of his overweight, high-voiced man-child and replaces them with one of the wittiest, most ridiculous, but mainly- American men to ever grace our screens.

3.  Park and Recreation- I was born ready.  I'm Ron f*cking Swanson.  Watch Leslie Knope, Tom Haverford, and the rest of the Parks Department take on menial, at best irritating problems with the veracity and passion of- well I can't think of a branch of our government that cares this much.  That sucks.

2.  Trailer Park Boys- The boys just want to drink liquor, smoke dope, and live like kings in Sunnyvale Trailer Park.  Is that so much to ask?  Apparently it is.  Trailer Park Boys is the remarkably, stupidly genius Canadian comedy about Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles living the white trash dream.  Despite their best efforts the boys just seem to wreak of arrest warrants.  Give this little-known gem a try when you miss out on that promotion.  You deserve it.

1.  South Park- Every now and then I go on a South Park kick that makes me wonder why I am not always on a South Park kick.  Cartman, Kenny, Stan, and Kyle may have some pretty messed up adventures, but their friendship has kept me in stitches for over a decade now.  Keep it up boys.  Never reach middle school.

Review- Insomnia

I need to start this by saying Insomnia is a very good movie.  It has all the elements a suspense movie should have, and it is acted and directed to a 'T".  I had some issues with Insomnia though.  And I don't think my issues necessarily deal with the story, the talent, or even the archetypal path the movie tends to follow.  My problem is with Christopher Nolan.  That isn't something you'll often see here.  My problem is with Christopher Nolan.  I respect the man.  I have yet to see a Nolan movie that I didn't at least understand the merit in.  I was one of the guys that saw Inception numerous times.  To top that I enjoyed the movie very much.  I know that 1/2 of America thought it was the best thing since sliced bread, but I thought it was very adequate.  Good even.  But not outstanding.  No.  My opinion of Christopher Nolan as a director is not determined by Inception.  It was set long before that on the basis of Memento, The Dark Knight, and The Prestige.  I was disappointed in Christopher Nolan here.

In my opinion, Nolan wears a lot of different masks.  He is a brilliant technological director.  He is also a brilliant comic book reviver, suspense director, and talent-seeker.  What is hard about Insomnia is that it has no traces of Nolan behind the camera.  All of the evidence of a Nolan-esque story is there.  Potentially ambiguous ending, moral wrestling- it seems right up his alley.  But I think the real error here is that he is using somebody else's story.  Nolan thrives on bringing his own scripts to life- not rehashing stories originally told by others.  Still, back to my first comment- Insomnia is a very good movie.

The movie begins with detectives Dormer (Al Pacino) and Eckhart (Martin Donovan) traveling to Alaska to help solve the murder of a 17-year-old girl.  On a side note, I assure you I am not trying to write consecutive reviews about little-girl-murders- it just happened.  As the case is revealed, we learn that Dormer is in a bit of trouble with Internal Affairs.  This, we are told, is a driving factor behind getting the detectives out of town.  Later, in a dinner conversation between Dormer and Eckhart, Eckhart   tells Dormer that he has been offered a deal for immunity for any information he may have regarding the investigation.  Eckhart, being a family man and feeling the need to protect himself, voices his intention to accept the deal to the disgust of Dormer.  From here forward we see their relationship deteriorate as it becomes clear that Dormer feels betrayed.

The case regarding the murder of our young damsel trudges on with most of the heavy-lifting falling to Dormer and the young Ellie Burr (Hilary Swank).  A lead reveals itself in the form of a book bag that is found.  In order to lure the killer back to the site, Dormer orders that a dispatch in search of the book bag be broadcast over public airwaves.  However, when the suspect does arrive he is spooked by a megaphone and darts into the Alaska fog- shooting one of the supporting officers in the leg in the process.  Dormer follows the suspect on foot and as a figure appears in the cloudy haze, Dormer fires.  As he approaches the downed man, he quickly discovers that it is, in fact, his partner Eckhart.  Dormer, knowing how this will look scrubs the scene to make it appear as thought the suspect killed Eckhart.  The one thing he has neglected, is that the suspect saw everything.  Through a series of phone conversations and meetings we learn that our suspect (who reveals his guilt in the murder) is Walter Finch (Robin Williams), a local mystery writer.  Having been caught in the act, and facing an inability to catch a good night's sleep, we see Dormer wrestle with his own morality, and indeed sanity.

Insomnia is not a miss, but it isn't a solid hit either.  The story is intriguing enough and the cast each plays his/her respective role to satisfaction, and in some cases (Robin Williams, Maura Tierney) to perfection.  My only complaint truly is that the story is (and feels) very recycled.  Based off of the Norwegian film of the same name released just 5 years earlier, it lacks the originality and imagination that we have become accustomed to seeing out of Christopher Nolan.  Insomnia is definitely worth a watch.  it is a quality film with capable players, but for this Nolan fan, "short-changed" is the only way to really describe the feeling of the credits rolling.

Overall Rating- 7/10

Review- The Pledge

I really wanted to like The Pledge.  I love Jack Nicholson.  I love Aaron Echart.  I love Sean Penn in the director's chair (see Into The Wild).  I did not love The Pledge.  The real annoyance of this movie is that it could have been so good.  We'll get to the "fixing" part later, but first let's look at the movie that actually exists.  There is nothing that sticks out in the performances, or even the directing that is particularly off-putting.  In fact, the conviction with which Nicholson plays his grizzled old detective is actually part of what is so vexxing.  Sean Penn does a beautiful job of creating a taut, tense thriller- textbook actually.  The real problem is that he doesn't do anything with the environment he creates.  The story just isn't there.  I did a little research on the film, and it is based on a book by Friedrich DurrenMatt.  This story must have worked on the page, but it certainly doesn't on the movie set.  

The story starts with a retirement.  After 30+ years of service to the Reno Police Department, Jerry Black (Jack Nicholson) is retiring to a life of fishing and leisure.  Of course this all changes when his retirement party is interrupted by news of the brutal murder of a 7-year-old girl that has taken place that night.  Jerry goes with his replacement, Stan Krolak (a mustachioed Aaron Eckhart) to investigate the crime scene.  It is determined that an eye witness has pin-pointed the man he saw fleeing the scene and he is waiting at the police station.  Our suspect is Toby Jay (Benicio Del Toro).  Toby is a mentally retarded man who Krolak sees as an easy confession.  Toby was found guilty in a very similar crime years earlier and, with just a bit of pressure applied, Krolak gets his confession.  Black doesn't buy it though.  He is able to (somehow) sense that Toby was talking about the previous crime.  Of course, none of this matters for Poor Old Toby, as he promptly seizes a cop's gun and blasts his teeth through the wall (literally).  We then see Black move to the area where several similar crimes have taken place and begin to investigate.  From this point forward we have the typical unraveling of clues about town, and we see Black fall in love with a little, blond girl remarkably similar to those murdered, and her mother (In a delightfully trashy turn by Robin Wright-Penn).  As his former colleagues begin to doubt his sanity, Black begins to feel the threat of violence nearing.  When the killer's presence surfaces close to home, can Jerry Black save his new found family?

Did that sound like a cheesy, trailer description?  Well that is probably because that is what watching it feels like.  The movie spends a great deal of time and effort making sure that we care about the characters- that we understand the importance of their plight.  But it takes all of that emotional investment and dumps it in our empty popcorn buckets.  There is no payoff.  No final sense of denouement.  There doesn't always need to be a satisfying ending in film.  But psychological thrillers need to have one.  You can't (effectively) pull a No Country For Old Men-style ending for thrillers.  Something needs to happen.  And the ending for The Pledge just sucks.  Watch it- you'll see what I mean.  I'm not going to say anything else because I don't like spoilers, but check out the Wikipedia site if you don't want to sit through it.  And it really may not be the ending that is so terrible.  It may be that the movie seems like it is going to be great.  The cinematography is beautiful.  The score is perfect.  Even the performances (including cameo roles by Helen Mirren and Harry Dean Stanton) are really, quite good.  It is all of this quality and potential that makes the payoff so disappointing.  

So here is what we have.  A movie with a top-notch cast.  A movie with some beautiful shots of the stunning American west.  A movie with a really compelling story.  And a bad movie.  What does that tell you?  Something went wrong in transit from the page to the screen, and even the capable hands of veterans like Penn and Nicholson weren't enough to separate The Pledge from the dime-a-dozen thrillers that come out every month.  Sorry Jerks, but stick to Unbreakable and The Usual Suspects.

Overall Rating- 4/10

Features-The Jerk's 5 favorite Netflix shows 8/2

These aren't the 5 most critically acclaimed shows available through Netflix.  They aren't the 5 most watched shows on Netflix either.  These are the 5 shows on Netflix that get the most viewing from this Jerk.  I love watching movies on Netflix- LOVE IT.  But more often I need to relax after a day of school and work and just gaze blankly into the boob-tube.  These are the best shows to enjoy when you just need to enjoy a show.

5.  American Dad-  Family Guy sucks pretty badly.  I hate to say that but it undoubtedly just sucks.  American Dad is a different story altogether.  Seth Macfarlane takes the "Like that time I"'s out of his overweight, high-voiced man-child and replaces them with one of the wittiest, most ridiculous, but mainly- American men to ever grace our screens.

4.  The Office- The Office has fallen off a bit in recent years.  I'll be the first to admit that.  But there was a time when Michael, Dwight, Jim, and the rest of our weekly co-workers made us enjoy Thursday nights.  We all clearly enjoy Thursdays for It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia now, but The Office is what we can stream instantly anytime.  Never a bad choice after a particularly horrible day at work.

3.  Intervention- This is going to sound bad.  I am giving you ample warning.  But there is nothing better than being able to say "Hey, at least I'm not that guy".  I told you it would sound bad.  But it is so true.  Relax.  Kick your feet up.  Crack open a cold one.  Hell, crack open 6.  Because I guarantee you can flip this show on and confidently say "It's okay.  At least I don't huff computer air-duster and walk on sunshine all day".

2.  Chappelle's Show- Sketch comedy is great.  Shows like SNL, and MADtv are pretty enjoyable.  Dave Chappelle reinvented sketch comedy.  In 2 (sort of 3) seasons, Dave Chappelle turned sketch comedy from something you chuckle absently at, to something you laugh uncontrollably, constantly at.  Everything about this is amazing.  The stand-up, the sketches, the cast, the writing- everything.  What a shame Dave Chappelle retired.  No less, this show will remain a testament to one of the funniest men of the last 20 years.

1.  Trailer Park Boys- The boys just want to drink liquor, smoke dope, and live like kings in Sunnyvale Trailer Park.  Is that so much to ask?  Apparently it is.  Trailer Park Boys is the remarkably, stupidly genius Canadian comedy about Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles living the white trash dream.  Despite their best efforts the boys just seem to wreak of arrest warrants.  Give this little-known gem a try when you miss out on that promotion.  You deserve it.

And stay tuned!  These shows will be updated weekly according to what the Jerk is currently watching.  Leave a comment. Tell me what I am missing out on.