Review- Blackfish

America loves to hate corporations.  They are the man.  They take our money, they operate outside of the law, and they get away with it.  They always get away with it.  And they are about the easiest target for public derision that we as a collective people can treat as a common enemy.  The problem is that we need most of them.  Sure, we hate big banks, but Wells Fargo has an ATM on every corner.  Sure we hate how Ford has been outsourcing American jobs for the last decade, but that new Explorer sure is pretty.  At its core, Blackfish is another corporation-basher.  The difference is that its subject is a corporation that does not provide a necessary service.  It is a company whose services could disappear tomorrow and the world would remain completely intact.  It is a family experience.  It is a child's dream.  It is SeaWorld.

Blackfish is a documentary that examines a lot by way of shady business practices within the park's infrastructure, but its focus is on injuries and deaths caused by their main attraction, killer whales.  Dating back as far as the 1970's the mammals have been used in shows across the country and now internationally.  They are beautiful, and smart, and majestic- all terms that SeaWorld is fine with implanting into its customers' heads.  They are also dangerous, deadly, aggressive, and unpredictable- terms they don't plan on and work very hard to conceal.  Spurred by the most recent trainer fatality, Blackfish is a horrifying look into one of America's most beloved attractions.

The film is at once tragic and informative, emotional and factual.  It highlights the familial construct of killer whales in the wild.  In one tear-jerking interview with a former whale snatcher, a man is haunted by his memories of separating the young from their families.  He remembers being a part of two revolutions in Central and South America and seeing things unbelievable to most people, but claims his experience removing the whales from their families is the worst thing he has ever done.  It is during this interview that we begin to see the face of the business behind Shamu.  The man discloses that during one capture three whales died and to cover that up, they were ordered to cut the whales open, fill them with rocks, and sink them using anchors.  As a result, SeaWorld has been banned in the state of Washington.

But perhaps the most touching of the interviews presented come from the former whale trainers.  They reveal that it is really fairly easy to get a job as a trainer.  No education is required, rather they look for good swimmers and actors.  No experience in marine biology, no former training experience is required.  That part I found shocking.  I assumed years of intensive study were required before  company would take on the liability associated with putting people in the water with whales- KILLER whales.  Nope.  Just sign the waivers and prove you can swim, though scuba experience is a plus.  The former trainers interviewed are all very open about their discontent with SeaWorld's practices.  They provide inside information about how they were never provided inside information.  In the neighborhood of 70 attacks on trainers have occurred in captivity, a statistic you'd think SeaWorld would share with its new and current trainers.  Nope.  Most of those interviewed found out about the track record through independent researchers and discussions with OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration).  Their attachment to the animals, but respect for their nature is remarkably consistent from trainer to trainer.  It does get a bit on the tree-hugging side when they begin crying about animals in cages, but their objective commentary to that point more than excuses the emotional response.

The underlying message in Blackfish that I saw was about our willingness to back corporations that are convenient for us.  SeaWorld isn't charging us $35 every time we overdraft our debit card.  For the average American, SeaWorld has been a positive, even memorable experience.  But its actions are undeniably heinous.  For example, the whale that was responsible for the death of a trainer in 2010 is still performing in daily shows at SeaWorld.  Not only was the animal not put down, it is still being exposed to people on a daily basis.  Worse yet, during an OSHA hearing it was ruled that trainers would henceforth have to remain behind glass, separated from the whales.  Sounds reasonable.  SeaWorld is appealing the decision.  So there is a proven track record of malicious behavior toward both people and animals.  And yet, until this film was released, SeaWorld saw no significant reduction in revenue. 

Blackfish is a good documentary, but it does have its shortcomings, and a good deal of them.  First, objectivity.  There is nothing remotely objective about this film.  SeaWorld executives declined for comment but that is more or less an excuse to show only one side of the story.  There are plenty of non-SeaWorld experts who back what they are doing and the feeling I got was that the filmmakers were not particularly interested in finding them.  Documentaries, strictly speaking, don't have to be objective, but I think they run the risk of becoming exploitative if they don't at least try.  And Blackfish really straddles that line.  The film also gets a bit "hippy" and it can be hard to get past.  Some of its interviewees seem a bit like environmental nutjobs, so at times we are still hung up on Johnny Appleseed who was just interviewed instead of the interview we are on with the sane woman.  All of that is to say that as an environmentally conscious and responsible film, Blackfish fails, but as a commentary on our willingness to accept what we hate when it is convenient for us, it succeeds.  At the very least it is fascinating and will probably ruin your next trip to Florida.

Overall Rating- 6/10

Features-The Jerk's 5 favorite Netflix shows 2/17/14

5. Family Guy- I tend to go on Family Guy kicks.  When I start watching, and get into a good streak of episodes or seasons, I can't stop watching.  Unfortunately Family Guy has been an extremely inconsistent show, though it is on what may be its final upswing right now.  My problem with Family Guy has always been that Seth MacFarlane puts entirely too much of himself into this particular show.  He uses Brian as his political and spiritual mouthpiece, which unfortunately leads to an insufferable, pretentious mutt.  There is a time and place to voice your opinion, Seth.  An animated network show where you live and die by fart jokes and chicken-battle cutaways is neither the time nor the place.  

4. Breaking Bad- I've never done a write-up of this show.  That is coming in the future, but more than likely will have to be a series of write-ups.  It is every bit the masterpiece you may have already discovered, or at the very least heard of.  I caught onto Breaking Bad probably around the airing of the third season and became one of the die-hards.  I can't say whether it is the "best show ever made" or not like some others have boldly claimed.  It certainly is in contention with a few other (The Shield, The Sopranos, The Wire, and now True Detective) but it is certainly a unique animal.  I've started slowly re-watching it from episode 1.  What strikes me most is how different in pacing and tone season one is from its successors.  Vince Gilligan really started with a family man we could all get behind before tearing him to the ground.  Maybe I'll be ready to write more after I finish it the second time around.

3. Orange is the New Black- Netflix has done a really nice job with their original programming.  Starting with the spiritual sequel to The Sopranos, Lilyhammer, and continuing almost daily, they have really created a new type of viewing experience.  Orange is the New Black is, to me, the greatest of their many accomplishments to date.  There is certainly a strong argument to be made for House of Cards, and to a lesser extent the fourth season of Arrested Development, but as of now this one reigns supreme.  We've seen a similar story out of the show's creator, Jenji Kohan in Weeds, but Orange is the New Black feels like a more mature, calculated approach to the "middle class white woman is thrust into a world that is anything but" story.  Season 2 is dropping this summer.  Don't miss the boat.  Catch up now.

2. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia- Because, duh.

1. Lost- My Lost obsession has gone from abnormal to unhealthy.  Dinner time?  Nope, sorry that is Lost time.  Should I take a shower?  Not until I can afford a TV in my shower for Lost.  I imagine that many a reader has had this experience before, but with the introduction of Ben Linus and The Others into the mix, I am in full-on bodily neglect mode.  I may have some trouble explaining what that mason jar full of pale yellow liquid is, but it's totally worth it.

That is what I have been watching this week.  In the limited time I've been able to yank myself away from Jack, Kate and Locke, I've squeezed in some good, hearty laughs and a little bit of time for "The One Who Knocks".  What are you watching?  Am I missing some great series?  Let me know and I'll try to fit them in.  After a few episodes of Lost, that is.

Netflix is for Lovers- Top 10 Love Stories to Stream Instantly

Valentine's Day is tomorrow.  People are way too rough on Valentine's Day.  Is it too much that we dedicate one day to romantic love every year?  I mean we dedicate a day to drinking, we dedicate a day to dressing up like monsters/sluts.  Hell we even dedicate a day to blowing up mailboxes and shooting roman candles at cats.  So this jerk finds it appropriate that we have one day where we can appreciate the person who puts up with us farting in the bed.  And apparently Netflix does too.  There is an almost endless amount of crappy love stories on Netflix, certain too many to list here.  But there is also some gold if you dig deep enough.  Well jerks, today is your lucky day, because I have done the digging for you.  Here are the top 10 love stories currently available to watch with your sweetheart as you devour a box of chocolates... and proceed to fart in the bed.

10. Grease- High school love is best when it is between two 30-somethings.  Ignoring the fact that the entire cast of Grease must have been held back at least 10 times, it is a fun, upbeat musical about young love.  It's your typical story of two lovers from opposite sides of the track (and world in this case) brought to life by John Travolta and Olivia Newton John.  I dare you to turn on "Grease Lightning" and not sing along.  I've tried it.  Can't be done.

9. Brokeback Mountain- Ang Lee somehow disguised this western love story as high art and passed it onto the academy for widespread praise and a slew of awards.  But let's get real, it's a chick flick without the chicks.  It's The Notebook without Rachel McAdams.  It's a beautiful love story between two men who aren't allowed to love each other.  Or who don't know how to quit each other.  Either way it's a very strong tale of suppressed love and the lengths we go to for the one we love.

8. Blue Valentine- Not all love stories have a happy ending, and Derek Cianfrance's Blue Valentine delivers that message with crushing honesty.  More of a story of what happens when love falls apart, Blue Valentine gives us an intimate look into the lives of two newlyweds from first encounter, to final parting.  It proves that love can be a punch in the gut just as much as a walk on the beach.  Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams devastate from start to finish.  It's a heavy love story, but a great one nonetheless. 

7. Harold and Maude- This one is, by today's standards, a touch on the creepy side.  But is is also undeniably cute and uniquely adorable.  Harold and Maude is, in a nutshell, the story of a senior citizen falling in love with a pubescent boy, but perhaps more remarkably, him falling in love with her.  Hal Ashby's finest film explores death, suicide, and an array of other less-than-pleasant themes through the romance of Harold and Maude.  And somehow it doesn't seem offensive or wrong.  They just fit.

6. Love Actually- I can actually hear the sound of a dozen faces hitting their palms as I type this.  But you know what?  If you don't like Love Actually you are either a) lying, b) Hitler (thanks for the holocaust, asshole) or c) a sociopath. I watch this movie no less than twice a month. Love Actually is equal parts sappy romance and R-rated humor.  It examines all aspects of love from typical husband/wife, to father/son, to rockstar/manager, to pornstar/pornstar, to prime minister/chubby girl.  It's not perfect, and it pours on the sap like that's its job (it is).  But it is endlessly rewatchable and touching all the same.

5. Pocahontas- Disney has a few great romances.  There is Belle and The Beast, Aladdin and Jasmine, Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Snow White and Prince Charming (lucky bastard), and then there is Pocahontas and John Smith.  You've got to hand it to them.  Disney tackled some tough and roughly historically accurate material in this one and still managed to make it child-friendly viewing.  The romance the crafted between the two lovers is fantastic, even if the rest of the movie is a bit on the average side.  It's another story of two people from different worlds made all the more powerful by the fact that this romance actually existed.  Good on ya, Walt!

4. Say Anything...- Cameron Crowe was bound to pop up sooner or later.  Nobody does "boy meets girl" as well as Crowe, and his first major work is arguably his best.  As my last review detailed, Lloyd Dobler is really the legacy that Say Anything... left on film, but the film itself is also to be lauded for taking the typical high school romance and mixing it up with offbeat characters.  It is 80's to a fault and the plotlines have worn thin by 2014.  But watch it.  You won't care.

3. Chasing Amy- There has never been another film like Chasing Amy.  At least not one that I have seen.  It is Kevin Smith's third installment in the View Askewniverse, and also his most heartfelt and honest film to date.  Chasing Amy is the story of a man who falls in love with a lesbian, and a lesbian who falls in love with a man.  It is also simultaneously the story of a straight man who falls in love with a man.  But it doesn't judge its characters, nor does it advocate for them.  Rather, using Kevin Smith's one-of-a-kind sense of humor, it simply shows us what happens given that set of circumstances. The film contains one of the best love triangles in modern cinema and some of the best monologues ever written to accomplish its lofty goals.  And accomplish them it does- wonderfully, I might add.

2. The Apartment- Billy Wilder is probably still the crowned king of romantic comedy.  The Apartment, while certainly romantic and funny, is not one of these films.  It is a sort of tragic tale of a woman finding what she was looking for under her nose.  First though, she goes through a series of demeaning escapades capped with a suicide attempt.  It is at this point that the heart of the film really hits.  Jack Lemon and Shirley MacLaine are largely to be credited for their onscreen chemistry and ability to turn tragedy into amusing banter.  

  

1. Manhattan- Manhattan is the greatest love story ever told.  It tops Romeo and Juliet, Casablanca, The Notebook, and yes, even its more remembered counterpart, Annie Hall.  The reason it supersedes the rest is because it contains everything that love is in one film.  Love is funny, it is tragic, it is inappropriate, it is neurotic, it is painful, it is honest, it is dishonest, it is complicated, it is confusing, it is selfish, and so are the characters that inhabit Manhattan.  It's real love, but is it real love?  No other film so perfectly articulates the feelings associated with love.  Maybe someday it will be, but for my money Manhattan has never been bettered.

So there you have it.  That should be enough mushy viewing for even the loneliest/laziest of the jerks to stay busy on February 14th.  So grab a bottle of wine and a bed to fart in and pick a flick.  After all, it's another 364 days until you can feel okay about watching Love Actually again.

Blast from the Past- Say Anything

Lloyd Dobler is the closest thing to a modern-day Aristotle we have.  He is an under-achieving, unimpressive romantic who also happens to be one of the greatest philosophers of this or any time. Think Silent Bob without the fart jokes and copious amounts of weed.  In Lloyd Dobler, Cameron Crowe, with no small degree of help from John Cusack, created his most timeless and cinematically influential character, which is saying something for the guy who also conjured up Rod Tidwell and Penny Lane.  Say Anything... is a good film, with a phenomenal character.  It reeks of 80's new wave and its dialogue is more than a little contrived at times, but it is the rare film where we just don't care.  Everything that happens in and around Lloyd are a means to the next beautiful, inspiring, and sometimes tragic thing that is about to come out of his mouth.  And it works.  I don't know how or why it works, but it does.

Say Anything... is really a very simple tale.  Boy meets girl, girl falls for boy, girl's father doesn't approve of boy, girl dumps boy, boy gets depressed, girl returns to boy, they live happily ever after.  Our story opens on Lloyd Dobler surrounded by a group of his female friends as he fawns over the untouchable Diane Court (Ione Sky).  Diane is the valedictorian of her class, and that compounded with her beauty makes her the envy of every girl in school.  Against the advice of the gaggle of females, Lloyd sets his sights on Diane, proclaiming in one of his greatest moments, "I want to get hurt!"  And that is that.  His mind is made up and he begins his attempts to court Court.  

Of the slew of boys who make this same attempt, Diane picks Lloyd.  After an odd telephone conversation, Diane agrees to accompany him to their graduation kegger.  Upon arrival at the party, Lloyd is deemed "keymaster", meaning it is his responsibility to gather keys from the patrons of the party and determine who can drive at the end of the night and who can't.  The party, you might notice, is a veritable who's who of future stars.  Jeremy Piven, Eric Stoltz, Pamela Adlon, and Lili Taylor all show up to bid farewell to their formative years in style.  Even the high school guidance counselor shows up to the party, which I guess we are supposed to find typical, and seeing Lloyd, approaches him to ask him if he has made up his mind about his future like the rest of his classmates.  Lloyd answers with a wonderful quip.

"How many of them really know what they want, though? I mean, a lot of them think they have to know, right? But inside they don't really know, so... I don't know, but I know that I don't know."

And that is the thesis for the post-high school life of Lloyd Dobler.  He knows he likes a few things: Kickboxing (the sport of the future), Peter Gabriel, and Diane Court.  And why does he have to know more than that?  His argument, which becomes abundantly clear throughout the rest of the film is simple-  he doesn't.

As Lloyd's relationship with Diane progresses her father (John Mahoney) becomes more and more involved in his daughter's romantic goings-on.  What high school boy hasn't lived that story?  Some over-bearing patriarch who thinks his daughter's taste in boys is his business.  He doesn't approve of Lloyd, nor his lackadaisical approach toward his future manifested in Lloyd's most classic line.

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

This plot-line is perhaps my biggest complaint with the film.  It's played out now and it was played out in 1989.  A father raises his daughter alone and their relationship is closer than most so Daddy feels like he is losing a daughter and takes it out on poor Joe High School.  It really is a shame.  It's almost a waste of John Mahoney's talents on such a droll trope.  Almost.  He gets his moment in the sun because of the one caveat to this particular story.  You see, Mr. Court owns and operates a retirement home and has, apparently been cooking the books to hide the money he has been stealing from his residents for some time.  

Lloyd and Diane continue their relationship and things are going swimmingly when Diane receives a letter that she has ben accepted for a prestigious fellowship that would take her out of the country for a year.  At her father's coaxing, Diane dumps Lloyd as she "owes it to herself" to go on the fellowship free from encumberances.  Lloyd goes into a wholly hilarious, yet heartbreaking depression that sees him standing in the rain, leaving endless messages from payphones, and seeking advice from the ladykilling group of idiots sipping 40's outside the local gas station.  And then comes the most famous scene of the film.  Diane is sitting in her room when she hears Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" playing from outside.  We then see Lloyd standing in front of his car, hoisting a Run DMC-style boombox above his head, his eyes begging for Diane to come to the window.  She doesn't.  The boombox scene, frankly deserves a write-up all its own, but that sort of takes the magic away from seeing it for the first time, so i'll refrain.  

The pressure becomes too heavy to deny from the IRS and Diane pays a visit to an investigator, played by Philip Baker Hall.  He says in simple terms that Mr. Court is guilty.  He presents only enough evidence to Diane for her to prepare herself for when the figurative shit finally hits the fan.  Diane then approaches her father, who lies to her about his activities.  Diane realizes that her father's self-serving agenda includes the wedge he drove between her and Lloyd and she goes running back to Lloyd whose response is simple and again echoes high school boys the world over: "One question: are you here 'cause you need someone, or 'cause you need me?... Forget it, I don't care."

Lloyd accompanies Diane to Europe, but not before paying her father a visit who has since been imprisoned for his crimes.  He delivers a scathing letter from Diane stating that she can no longer trust her own father and that despite everything she still has love for him.  Things escalate between Lloyd and Mr. Court leading Mr. Court to call Lloyd a "distraction".  But Lloyd has won at this point and his response is simple.  He tells Mr. Court, "I'm the distraction that's going with her to England, sir."

The film ends with Lloyd and Diane on an airplane.  Diane is afraid of flying, but Lloyd assures her that everything will be okay and to wait for the smoking sign to come on.  Once the smoking sign comes on, it means that the plane is safely in the air and there is nothing to worry about anymore.  Lloyd and Diane sit, hand-in-hand waiting for the light and its accompanying "ding" that comes with it.  Cut to black.  Ding.

Say Anything...is a very flawed film, but the film isn't the achievement.  Lloyd Dobler is the lasting mark Say Anything... left on the world.  It is a true testament to the possible results of artistic collaboration.  Cameron Crowe wrote the words.  He molded the story, and brought it to life.  But Lloyd Dobler would be utterly forgettable in the hands of anybody but John Cusack.  Cusack is a very rare talent.  He is in a category all his own.  When you need John Cusack for a role, nobody else will do.  There is no "John Cusack" type.  There is just John Cusack.  He is unique in the same way that Bill Murray is unique- there is just no substitute.  The film world had been given glimpses of John Cusack prior to Say Anything... but they never forgot him afterwards.  I could spend time writing about how the dialogue could have been improved, or how the characters surrounding Lloyd are little more than a means to trigger emotional responses from Lloyd, but why?  It's a sweet, if average 80's high school love story with one exception- Lloyd Dobler.  I'll never be half as clumsily poetic as Lloyd, so I'll wrap this up with his own words.

"What I really want to do with my life - what I want to do for a living - is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it."

Overall Ratings

Say Anything...- 7/10

Lloyd Dobler- 10/10

Features-The Jerk's 5 favorite Netflix shows 2/6/14

5. Sons of Anarchy- I have sort of a love/hate relationship with the boys of SAMCRO.  I love the club and the familial unit they have formed and I hate how ridiculous it has gotten as of late.  It has the Weeds disease.  It tries to do too much when we liked it the way it was before.  Still, it's a good drama that provides enough action to keep even Michael Bay fans involved in its story.  

4. Bob's Burgers- This is a new one for me.  I had never seen Bob's Burgers until this week.  There is something about a grown man watching more than 5 cartoons regularly that is unsettling.  But Bob's Burgers is worth being unsettling.  It is funny.  And it doesn't really reach for much more.  It has no agenda, it has no point, it's just funny.  The perfect way to kill 22 minutes.

3. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia- Sunny is at number 3 this week.  I just didn't watch enough of it.  And I have to admit I feel weak.  Like I didn't drink, snort, smoke, or rectally absorb enough of The Gang.  It will make a comeback next week.  I already have a day blocked out for it.

2.  Wilfred- Part of the reason I didn't watch enough Sunny this week was because of this little guy right here.  There is just something about watching Frodo get baked on his couch with an Australian mutt that I find hilarious.  This comedy has gained some notoriety in the last couple of years, but is still mostly a well-kept secret.  Get in on it.  It is designed for binge-watching.

1. Lost- Well it's consumed me.  If Wilfred was designed for binge-watching, then Lost was designed for television addicts.  This show.  This goddamn show.  I have slept about 12 hours this week because I can't turn it off.  It's incredible.  And it's good, but not great.  It's certainly no Breaking Bad.  It's not The Shield.  But they end every episode by forcing you to watch the next one.  I have been mainlining Lost for the last week and still have a long way to go.  

Review- Bernie

Bernie is the rare film that accomplishes exactly what it set out to from the first frame.  It isn't extravagant, or ground-breaking, and nobody is going to walk away from it saying "that was the best movie I've ever seen".  But that's sort of the point- we're not supposed to.  And that is ground-breaking.    Richard Linklater is one of the unsung auteurs of the last, call it 20 years.  We've all seen his films, and a few of them are generally considered essential vieiwing, but most people don't know the guy by name.  To catch everybody up to speed, Linklater is responsible for Slacker, Dazed and Confused, Before Sunset (and its equally excellent sequels), A Scanner Darkly, School of Rock and about a half-dozen other wonderful little indy films.  He is sort of like Kevin Smith minus about 100 pounds and plus about a thousand degrees of tact.  If it isn't abundantly clear by this point, I love Richard Linklater.  And I loved Bernie.  I loved it the first time I watched it in theatres, and I loved it more watching it again for the purpose of this review.

Bernie is the story of small-town assistant funeral director, Bernie Tiede.  A sweeter man you are unlikely to come across.  He is a pillar of the community.  He works in the local theatre, he does taxes for the town's less-than-brilliant residents, and he checks in on the widows of the recently deceased on his personal time.  He is essentially a saint wrapped in the paunchy exterior of Jack Black.  And everybody loves Bernie.  In interview cutaways, the townspeople make that abundantly clear.  He's like the town mascot.  And Bernie takes his work very seriously.  He believes that everybody should have a wonderful send-off into the afterlife, and works diligently to ensure they do.  As his boss notes, Bernie sings songs, he delivers homilies, he even releases doves by the grave sites of the deceased.  He's a jack-of-all-trades amongst the recently departed.  So it's no wonder when he takes an interest in Ms. Nugent, a recent widow in town played with stone cold detachment by Shirley McClaine.

If Bernie is universally beloved amongst the townsfolk, then Ms. Nugent is universally loathed.  She is a mean, bitter old lady who has spent her life pissing off her neighbors.  She is also rich.  Filthy, stinking rich.  Never to be deterred, Bernie begins his routine house-calls and after overcoming her initial resistance, begins a relationship with Ms. Nugent.  They travel the world, they go to fancy restaurants and they become companions.  As their time together intensifies, the townspeople start to talk.  Is it an illicit love affair?  Is Bernie after Ms. Nugent's money?  Nobody is quite sure what to make of the pair, but they do know one thing: Bernie is a good man.  They implicitly trust him so however strange it may seem, they assume the best.

Ms. Nugent becomes extremely possessive of Bernie, expecting him to drop everything to respond to her whims.  Bernie obliges, but after a while it starts to wear on him.  The relationship turns from strange to abusive very quickly, but Bernie, having spent large portions of Ms. Nugent's fortune, continues to play her whipping boy.  He is in control of her estate and uses her money for the betterment of the community even going so far as to donate $100k for a the construction of a new wing at the church.  Bernie is in the middle of a rehearsal for one of his many musicals at the local theatre one day when he is summoned by Ms. Nugent who demands his presence immediately.  Bernie complies in his normal manner.  As the two enter the garage, he grabs a low caliber hunting rifle from a shelf and shoots Ms. Nugent in the back 5 times in a dream-like, sureal moment of passion.  Snapping back to reality, he stores her body in the freezer and cleans up the blood.

From this point forward, Bernie is forced to play a cat-and-mouse game with Ms. Nugent's former stock broker, whose suspicion is the only thing keeping Bernie's crime from being perfectly executed.  Bernie continues to spend Ms. Nugent's money and tells anybody who asks about her absence that she has recently suffered a series of minor strokes and wishes to be left alone until she is fully recovered, an event which will apparently take place, oh never.  When the broker finally gets a warrant to search Ms. Nugent's residence on the basis that he has not been paid his agreed upon fees, the police find Ms. Nugent's body in the deep freeze.

Enter hard ass District Attorney, Danny Buck played with typical southern charm and tenacity by Matthew McConaughey.  During his investigation, it become abundantly clear that, even with Bernie's confession in hand, a conviction of the town hero is going to be no easy feat.  Hell, even the local church seems to be on Bernie's side as they pray for their newly imprisoned choir director and congregation member.  Buck puts in a request to have the trial location moved, an unprecedented, yet approved request.  Bernie's trial begins and his fate awaits him.

Bernie is the perfect dark comedy.  And it achieves this by keeping one crucial tidbit in mind- a dark comedy should be a comedy first and dark second.  The adjective describes the noun.  It's simple grammar, really but is so often forgotten in films like Very Bad Things, or more recently Inside Llewyn Davis.  The film will have you laughing from opening credits to end credits and everywhere in between.  This is in no small part thanks to Jack Black in his best performance to date.  Playing the sexually ambiguous, but giant-hearted Bernie, we fall in love with him the instant he comes on screen.  He is never more than harmless, with the exception of about 3 seconds, and then morphs back into this overweight do-gooder again with such seamless skill you would swear he had spoken to the real Bernie Tiede.

Speaking of which, he did!  Linklater placed a few bets in this film and they paid off big time.  The first was that he put Jack Black in a room with Bernie Tiede, a convicted murderer.  The result, as stated above is fantastic.  I've never met Bernie Tiede so I can only speculate, but I would imagine Black's performance is 90% imitation, 10% acting.  He also used real townspeople from rural Carthage, TX interspersed with character actors for the cutaway interviews.  And therein lies the films authenticity.  The townspeople are absolutely crucial to shaping our view of Bernie.  Black's performance brings us most of the way, but the townspeople validate what a lovely man he is.  I'm not sure that could be replicated with actors.

On the whole, Bernie is a film I would classify as a must-see.  It's simple, it's heartfelt, it's hysterical.  The trio of Jack Black, Matthew McConaughey, and Shirley McClain is perfect, Linklater's direction is perfect and the town of Carthage is a place that I will be revisiting often.  Check this one out.

Overall Rating-
10/10

Top 10 Performances on Netflix by this Year's Oscar Contenders

Well it's that time of year again.  The time when we collectively decide that actors aren't compensated enough already and begin throwing gold statues at them like we have extra gold to give away.  Every year the discussions go back and forth about how meaningful/less these ceremonies are until it is decided that it's at least a little fun to watch the Weinstein brothers nervously eat themselves further into the grave.  Whatever your opinion of the show is, there is no doubt that those nominated have some acting chops.  And so here are the top 10 performances by this year's crop of talent.

10. Cate Blanchett- Best Actress in a Leading Role- The Talented Mr. Ripley

Cate Blanchett is a chameleon.  She's Meryl Streep in training.  And while her CV may not be as deep as The Lady Streep's yet, she is well on her way.  In The Talented Mr. Ripley, Blanchett plays the minor role of Meredith Logue, a 1950's version of a spoiled brat.  She is the daughter of a textile magnate, and like many rich kids, appreciates very little.  Look no further than her claim that "The truth is, if you've had money your entire life, even if you despise it, which we do -- agreed? -- you're only truly comfortable around other people who have it and despise it" for a peek into her misguided worldview.  Still, she plays a pivotal if limited role in bringing Mr. Ripley to his knees.

9. Judi Dench- Best Actress in a Leading Role- Skyfall

Judi Dench is currently the best M. of any James Bond iteration.  And she's got some steep competition.    John Huston, Robert Brown, Edward Fox, and David Niven have all given M. a run, but Dench does it best.  It takes a powerful woman to play boss to James Bond, and Dench matches Daniel Craig's bond stroke for stroke.  Skyfall offers up M. at her very best.  Unwielding, courageous, intelligent, tragic.

8. Jared Leto- Best Actor in a Supporting Role- American Psycho

Before Jared Leto went off the rails and then came back again, he was a part of this wonderful cult classic.  Leto plays Paul Allen, a young yuppie with a penchant for outdoing his competition.  Unfortunately for him, Patrick Bateman is his competition.  A pity how his story ends, but he just had to get his cards watermarked, didn't he?  A little goddamn humility can go a long way, Paul.  Hope you like Huey Lewis and The News.

7. Sally Hawkins- Best Actress in a Supporting Role- Happy-Go-Lucky

I would urge anybody who has yet to experience Sally Hawkins to move this to the top of their Netflix List.  She is Britain's answer to Kristen Wiig, and if I may be so bold, a far superior choice.  She is at her absolute charming best in Happy-Go-Lucky, playing Poppy, an early 30's teacher bouncing through life aimlessly.  Not an overly unique tale, it's her performance that brings the film to life.  At once hilarious and touching, Hawkins gives us a reason to love Poppy.  Now if she could just learn to drive.

6. Bruce Dern- Best Actor in a Leading Role- The Great Gatsby

Neither film version of The Great Gatsby is very good.  A lot of films get labeled "unfilmable" but I think with this one the proof is in the pudding.  But contrived as it may be, at least the 1974 version of the classic novel didn't have Jay-Z.  Dern is by far the best thing about The Great Gatsby, and for that matter just about every film he has ever been in.  He's a sweet old man now, but there was a time when he was the go-to guy for psychopaths, and that is exactly what he plays here.  Coming from old money and with more than a small streak of violence in him, Dern plays Tom Buchanan.  His temper simmers just far enough below the surface that when he lets loose it is truly a thing of beauty.  If you haven't seen it, google "Bruce Dern whore" and read his interview with the Hollywood Reporter.  Pure gold.

5. Judi Dench- Best Actress in a Leading Role- Shakespeare in Love

That's right it's Judi Dench again.  And this time she is, quite literally, a queen.  Here Dench plays Queen Elizabeth in spectacular, show-stopping fashion.  Her whopping 8 minutes of screen time won her a well-deserved Oscar in a film that undeservingly also picked itself up a gong for Best Picture.  In a cast that includes Geoffrey Rush, Tom Wilkinson, Gwenyth Paltrow, Imelda Staunton, and Colin Firth, Dench once again reigns supreme.  

4. Jennifer Lawrence- Best Actress in a Supporting Role- The Hunger Games

It was almost impossible for Jennifer Lawrence to live up to the expectations surrounding The Hunger Games.  But she did.  And not just met them, but exceeded by a good margin.  Lawrence plays the film's hero, Katniss Everdeen- a strong young woman who fights for her life in a cruel game perpetrated by a cruel empire in a dystopian future.  She brings strength and tenderness to a role that, in lesser hands, could have turned into mere fluff.  The story is good, but Lawrence's performance is the reason to watch The Hunger Games.

3. Christian Bale- Best Actor in a Leading Role- American Psycho

As great as Jared Leto is, American Psycho is Bale's show.  It is also the first time audiences got to experience the full force of what this young man had to offer.  Bale plays Patrick Bateman, a yuppie amongst yuppies.  Everything about him screams "first class douche" in the most obsessive compulsive way possible.  And, oh yeah, he also moonlights as a psychotic killer.  Everything about this performance is perfect from Bateman's love of Phil Collins, to the gleeful delight he takes in dismembering hookers.  It's a modern classic and a beautiful, if twisted tale.

2. Meryl Streep- Best Actress in a Leading Role- Manhattan

I have said before that I believe Manhattan is the best romantic comedy of all-time.  And I stand by that statement.  Every element of the story is necessary without any elements being superfluous.  Woody Allen really achieved a remarkable film through the creation of remarkable characters.  Streep's role here isn't large.  In fact she has a very limited amount of time on screen, but she uses it.  She plays the ex-wife of our protagonist (played by who else, Woody Allen) who has come out and started a romantic relationship with a woman since their split.  And she is a bitch.  But her bitchiness never feels unjustified.  We keep asking ourselves "What the hell did you do to this woman, Woody?".  It's no surprise that Streep pulls it off, but it's nice to see her in a film before she was "MERYL STREEP".

1. Leonardo Dicaprio- Best Actor in a Leading Role- What's Eating Gilbert Grape

This is Leonardo Dicaprio's greatest role.  Before he was Jack, before he was Scorsese's rat, before he took down Wall Street, he was Arnie Grape, the mentally retarded brother of Johnny Depp's title character.  Dicaprio garnered his first Osar nomination for his beautiful and heart-breaking portrayal of a young boy surrounded by dysfunction beyond his ability to grasp.  Leo has deserved his trophy for years now and I personally think he should have gotten it his first time out.

So there they are.  Now grab a blanket and a some junk food and study up.  The big show is just around the corner.

Review- The Road

Watching The Road, I couldn't help but think of a quote I recently heard on the television series True Detective.  In an interview a man makes a very morbid observation-

"...The hubris it must take to yank a soul out of nonexistence, into this... meat.  And to force a life into this, thresher.  Yeah so my daughter, she spared me the sin of being a father."

More than with that show, this quote rings true in the world of The Road- a world first imagined by Cormac McCarthy (acclaimed author of No Country For Old Men) and brought to chilling "life" by director John Hillcoat.  Put mildly, The Road is no feel-good flick.  Rather it examines the darkest elements of humanity at our most desperate and refuses to blink.  On the surface this film tells the story of a man and his son's struggle for survival in a dystopian future.  And at face value, the film is nothing short of stunning.  But The Road is also, at its very best, an examination of the things we do for our children.  Using both major and minor plot devices to brutally drive its point home, The Road is a unique experience.  Not a fun experience, but undeniably unique.

The Road opens with a brief glimpse of a beautiful landscape before plunging us into its world of filth and violence.  The year is unclear, but we find ourselves somewhere in the near future.  Life all but ceases to exist.  Plant and animal life has vanished entirely and the traces of human life are rapidly disappearing as the food supply has dried up.  A character known only as The Man (played with typical brilliance by Viggo Mortensen) begins a hopeless voiceover monologue.  He provides the exposition in a few defeated sentences.  Perhaps most troubling is that this apocalypse of sorts is just as inexplicable to the people inhabiting this tattered world as to those of us viewing it on a screen.  A bright light came, and everything died.  That is about as much explanation as we are ever given, or need for that matter.

The first bit of action we get is of The Man and his son, known only as The Boy (Kodi Smit-Mcphee) running for cover.  We see a single light coming down a tunnel which is slowly revealed as one of the many cannibal gangs that plague the remains of America.  One of the gang separates from the group to relieve himself and stumbles across The Man and The Boy.  The Man instructs the, well other man, that should he so much as look in the direction of The Boy, he'll shoot him with his revolver.  The cannibal calls his bluff and observes that The Man only has enough ammo to kill himself and The Boy and that The Man has likely never killed a man in his life.  Neither confirmed nor denied, The Man makes good on his promise and kills the cannibal, immediately fleeing deeper into the woods with The Boy.  He explains to the boy that they will never become what those men had become, even to survive.  We are the good guys.  They are the bad guys.

In a series of flashbacks it is revealed that The Boy was born into this world.  During the beginning days of the apocalypse The Woman (Charlize Theron) gives birth to The Boy.  Seeing the hopelessness of the world, she eventually decides to leave, though not before giving one of the most brief and heart-wrenching performances of her career.  The Woman disappears into the dark, unforgiving night never to be seen again.  It is a cruel mercy, but a mercy all the same as she points out that there are only 2 bullets in the revolver.  The Boy's only chance is with The Man.

The Boy and The Man continue along the road headed south, hoping to find warmer temperatures. They come across an abandoned storm shelter that is as close to heaven as the pair are likely to see in their travels.  The shelter is stocked with food, water and other survival necessities.  Hearing a dog and figuring people must be close behind, The Man hurries away from the shelter, loading as much as he can onto a cart. As they move they encounter other travelers, thieves, and families.  Most notably they run across an old man (Robert Duvall).  Initially The Man refuses to extend any sort of help to the man, who is clearly in need of it.  But after much coaxing from The Boy he gives in.  The Man and The Old Man have a conversation about God and their existence before The Old Man indicates that he doesn't think about death because he can't afford that "luxury".  This gives the man pause before he must once again set back out on The Road.

Before long The Man and The Boy reach the coast.  For those expecting Cocoa Beach, think more along the lines of the Jersey Shore.  It's a filthy hellhole of a beach, but provides an opportunity to bathe all the same.  As The Man bathes, The Boy sleeps.  The Man returns to find that they have been robbed and hobbles, shoeless, after the culprit.  Upon catching him, The Man uncharacteristically robs him of all of his possessions, including his shoes and underwear.  The Robber, alone and naked, begs or mercy as The Man and The Boy walk away.  Again, after much coaxing The Boy is able to convince the man to return The Robber's possessions, though he is nowhere to be found.  They leave the clothes and a can of their own food where they last saw The Robber and continue on.

The final scenes involve a shoot-out that sees The Man wounded, likely fatally.  The Boy's fate is all that remains.  To preserve the ending, we'll stop there, but sufficed to say it is similar in tone to No Country For Old Men.

The Road will leave an impression on anybody who sees it, that much is certain.  And honestly it is hard to say if it is a "good" film or not.  I would say more than good or bad, it is an important film.  It examines the hells we will wade through for our children, and the way they shape our character even in the face of dire adversity.  One common theme throughout the film is mercy killing.  At the end of just about every scene, The Man is left with a decision.  Does he kill his son and himself, or does he press on?  The exercise gets a bit played out, but is occasionally used to great effect.  The most memorable of these scenes is when The Man and The Boy are trapped in the bathroom of a house, cannibals closing in.  As the cannibals creep up the stairs, The Man presses the revolver to The Boy's head and pulls back the hammer while his finger twitches on the trigger.  More than most films, whether this is a good bit of conflict or a graphic misnomer is left entirely up to the film's viewer.  I tend to side with a good portion of the conflict stepping a bit further than what is actually needed.  If there is so much at stake, then why does The Man allow The Boy to scream when there are cannibals with assault rifles just yards away?  The film seems to meander in its graphic moments with little continuity to reinforce its sense if danger.  I have no problem with a film being graphic.  But if that is the direction you are going to take it in, you need to remain true to it when it is convenient as well as when it's inconvenient.  We only allow you to show us these ugly images under the pretense that there is a purpose behind it and when a young boy is conveniently allowed to scream even while he is deep in hiding, it makes us call bullshit on the entire environment you have worked so hard to craft.

Beyond the material, the cinematography brings McCarthy's world to stunning, depressing life.  The use of oranges, browns, blacks, and grays communicate better than any dialogue, just what state America has fallen to.  The camerawork is nothing short of masterful.  The long shots of the sweeping landscape are somehow beautiful, and peaceful in stark contrast to the close-ups which remain visceral and violent.

But the performances are what really bring this somber tale to death (saying they brought it to life seemed just a bit contrary to the themes of the film).  Viggo Mortensen is excellent, as always.  No surprise there.  However it is his counterpart, the young Kodi Smit-McPhee who really blew me away. He matches Mortensen, stride-for-stride, in what has to be some of the heaviest material in Tinsel Town.  His insistence that The Man continue to do the right thing even when it runs opposite to their own survival remains the heart of the story, without which would be unwatchably bleak.  Great performances by Charlize Theron, Michael K. Williams (of The Wire fame) and Robert Duvall round out what is sure to be the least fun you'll have watching a meaningful film for quite some time.  Or at least until you decide to watch Requiem for a Dream.

Overall Rating- 6/10

Features-The Jerk's 5 favorite Netflix shows 1/28/14

5.  Weeds- Remember when this show was good?  I mean really good and fresh?  Well I've gone back to discover that time, and what a time it was.  A suburban housewife selling weed to keep up appearances.  Before the cartels, and the tunnels, and New York there was just Nancy, Shane, Silas, Andy, and Doug.  It was funny and it was a joy to watch because the stakes weren't too high.  We never wanted Nancy to be in real danger, as much as we might have said we did.

4.  Law & Order: SVU- What a great, awful show.  It is the same formulaic show week in and week out, but God bless it.  There is something comforting about being able to sit down and know that within the time span of 42 minutes, Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Maloni are going to find a victim, narrow down suspects, find their killer/rapist/diddler/pornographer/serial whatever and mess him up.  The Wire, it ain't.  But still a solid way to kill an hour.

3.  American Dad- This one is a main-stay.  That is because I maintain after 3 years that this is the most rewatchable show on Netflix, and one of the funniest on television.  Stan is funnier than Peter, Francine is funnier than Lois, Roger is funnier than Brian and Stewie combined, and Haley is funnier than Meg.  For a show whose premise should make it insufferably political (as many Family Guy episodes are) the audience has remained small enough that it doesn't serve as a political mouthpiece for its creator.  It is wonderful.  Watch it.

2.  Lost- I've taken the plunge.  Into insanity, quite literally.  How can a show make so little sense and be so compelling?  Seriously?  I started watching Lost a few years back but this was before the days of Netflix Instant streaming (holy shitballs I'm old) and $50 seasons just weren't possible for a college kid with a drinking problem.  Not much to say about this one really.  If you're curious, watch it.

1. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia- This feature's variety may have died with the addition of IASIP to the instant streaming service.  It is the funniest show ever made.  And there are 9 seasons of it, each episode funnier than the last with very few misses in its history.  No show has brought me a fraction of the unbridled joy or laughter that Sunny has.  If you haven't met The Gang yet, I strongly suggest you take a few days off work/school and dig in.  You've got some viewing to do.

Blast from the Past- A Billy Wilder Double Feature

For the grand relaunch of Filmjerk, I thought it appropriate to start a new "segment" of sorts.  "Blast from the Past" will focus on the classics.  Given that the whole of Filmjerk tends to focus on post-1990 cinema, the term "classics" will include films up to that period in time. So don't be surprised to see films like Raging Bull lumped in with older films like The Great Dictator.  I've internally deemed a classic as any film that has a) affected the current landscape of modern cinema and b) holds up to repeat viewings in a different era.

Today we'll take a look at (arguably) Billy Wilder's 2 greatest works- Some Like it Hot, and The Apartment.  It is hard to view the films as works independent from one another given the remarkable similarities in style, tone, talent, and quality.  And while each has its merits individually (and we'll certainly take a look at those) the pair is much stronger than the sum of its parts.  Looking at film as the ongoing, everchanging landscape that it is, these 2 films left one, remarkably large footprint rather than 2 average-sized prints, and directors for decades have thanked Wilder for that.

First to Some Like it Hot.  What a wonderful flick.  It is wonderful in its concept, its execution, its simplicity, just about everything.  That being said, it does have its flaws as any film does.  Just 2 sentences in and I'm already finding this new segment sort of hard.  How do you criticize a masterpiece?  How do you look at the Mona Lisa and say "her forehead is enormous"?  With balls- that's how.  But let's talk about the plethora of beauty first.  Some Like It Hot stands the test of time like few films I've ever seen have.  It isn't a chore to watch.  You can sit down with a generation tailored toward Judd Apatow and Kevin Smith and they will be in stitches when Jack Lemmon comes home drunk, maracas in hand, claiming that he is engaged to the most wonderful man.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Some Like it Hot is a comedy of errors.  Sort of.  It is also a screwball comedy.  Sort of.  I guess I would call it a "screwball comedy of errors".  Loosely using tropes created by The Bard, Some Like it Hot is the story of 2 down on their luck musicians looking for work.  They find some work 100 miles away and have to borrow a car to get to the gig.  Upon arriving at the garage where the car is housed, they witness the murder of 7 Northside Chicago gangsters (an event we refer to as the St. Valentine's Day Massacre) and go on the lam.  Having heard of a gig in Florida, they see their chance for escape.  The catch?  The gig is for an all female band.  There is a quick device used to get the men employed and they head to the train station.  Upon arrival, there is some immediate suspicion, but nothing that the men (women?) can't handle.  Most important on the train is their introduction to Sugar Kane, played by Marilyn Monroe.  She is a tart with a drinking problem, but undeniably cute and bubbly.  They host a party to quickly gain some allies amongst the women, and perhaps set the stage for some slap and tickle later on.

They make it to Florida and Daphne (the monicker Jack Lemmon has selected for himself) is in favor of immediately hitting the road.  He argues that the mob will be looking for them in every band in America.  A fair point, Josephine (Tony Curtis's name of choice) explains that they will not be looking for 2 women playing in an all-female band.  Having had the chance to buddy up to Sugar, Josephine lays the groundwork for some tomfoolery of his own.  He "predicts" that rather than falling for another saxophone-playing ne'er-do-well (which he/she is) Sugar will find a well-intentioned millionaire.  A young and single one to boot.  While this is happening, Daphne has caught the eye of one of the elder residents of the hotel where they are performing named Osgood Fielding.  Dirty old man doesn't really do him justice.  He is a spoiled rich boy all grown up.  But he is lovable.  By God, is he lovable.

Later, at the beach, Sugar Cane is playing around with Daphne.  Josephine is strangely absent, but neither pays this much mind.  Sugar clumsily bumps into an over-the-top rich-looking fellow who introduces himself as Shell Oil, Jr.  Dear christ.  Really?  But Sugar pays no mind as she doesn't exactly have a lot of mind to pay.  Shell Oil, Jr. is very clearly Josephine dressed back up like a man with glasses on.  He explains that he has been unsuccessful in love and pulls the hard-to-get card early.  Daphne comes over to see what all the fuss is about and decides to take Sugar back up to the hotel room where Josephine should be to blow his/her cover.  Making a quick, thru-the-window change, Josephine is able to conceal her identity.  At about this time, Daphne receives an invitation from Osgood Feeling to join him on his yacht, but Josephine has other plans.  Daphne will convince Osgood that she has terrible seasickness and Josephine, Dressed as Shell Oil, Jr. will take their place on the yacht.  From here the two couples both have a romantic evening together.  Yes, even Daphne discovers the wonderful heart of Osgood Feeling.

In the final act the mob holds a "convention" at the exact hotel where the women/men are staying.  Through a series of hysterical errors, their identities are discovered and the rest of the film is spent with the pair avoiding being whacked whilst simultaneously avoiding blowing their respective covers with their respective lovers.  In one of the best conclusions ever written Osgood Feeling states the moral of the story "Well, nobody's perfect!" as they sail off into the sunset.

I promise in Wilder's hands the plot isn't half as confusing as what I just made it out to be.  Its simplicity adds to its spectacle and vice versa.  Wilder embraces all of the cliches of the genre, and those which he doesn't use, he creates.  There is something about not trying to break new ground that is ground-breaking.  The historical significance of this film is undeniable.  It brought drag to the masses- something that wouldn't be accepted again until Dustin Hoffman dressed in drag in a little film called Tootsie (even sparking a theatrical re-release of Wilder's classic).  Almost everything about this film is perfect.  Almost.  The casting is damn near spot on.  Jack Lemmon steals the film, but Tony Curtis keeps great pace as do the archetypal gangsters cast as Spatts and his posse.  And Joe E. Brown might be the cutest old man on film until Jack Lemmon re-paired with Walter Matthau for Grumpy Old Men 40 years later.  My biggest problem is with Marilyn Monroe.  Now smart money says Wilder probably had to attach her to the project in order to put these other 2 relative unknowns in drag on screen in 1959. But to me it is a bit of a shame.  She tries.  You can tell she tries.  And frankly it is refreshing to see Monroe play against type, going for the cute and bubbly rather than the scandalous and seductive.  But she just can't match the rest of the cast.

There are also a few issues with the story.  For one, the discovery by Spatts that these 2 women are, in fact the 2 men from the massacre is a little quick and contrived.  It was like Wilder went "Shit, this thing can't get any longer.  Well, let's cut out half of the third act."  Given the suspension of disbelief we have granted thus far in the film, it isn't overly distracting, but could have been improved certainly.  I also would have enjoyed seeing the men's transformation into Josephine and Daphne, but now I'm getting nit-picky.  Let's move to The Apratment, shall we?  I promise it'll be shorter.

I like The Apartment a bit more than Some Like it Hot.  While still a comedy, it has a decidedly more melancholic tone.  The Apartment is the story of C.C. Baxter (played once again by Jack Lemmon), a cog in a corporate machine.  In order to advance within his enormous company, he allows the use of his apartment to his superiors for their extramarital affairs.  When we meet Baxter, he is already about fed up with juggling 4 different bosses around.  It is leading to complaints from his neighbors and landlord, scheduling conflicts, and a general icky feeling.  But the promise of advancement keeps him true to his commitment to play the fool.  He begins a flirtatious relationship with Ms. Kubelik (Shirley MacLaine), who operates the elevator in his building and tries, unsuccessfully, to court her.

He is called into Mr. Sheldrake's (played by the legendary Fred MacMurray) office one day on the 27th floor.  This is huge.  Little does Baxter know, he is walking into a trap.  Mr. Sheldrake has heard about his arrangement with the other bosses and in a brilliant plot twist, requests exclusive use of the apartment for his own philandering.  With the promise of that promotion finally coming through, Baxter agrees.  He gets the promotion, but it doesn't take long to realize that Mr. Sheldrake's mistress is none other than Ms. Kubelik.  Baxter is heartbroken and begins dating much in the same way as the other executives he has seen before him.  One night he is getting drunk at the local watering hole and decides to bring a gal back to his apartment.  He walks in to find Ms. Kubelik unconscious, having attempted suicide by overdosing on his sleeping pills.

The rest of the story is about Baxter manning up.  He is promoted yet again, but his moral conflict is boiling to the surface.  As Ms. Kubelik continues to win his heart as she recovers in his apartment, he begins to see exactly what Mr. Sheldrake is.  Again, in another brilliant conclusion Baxter once more gives a key to Mr. Sheldrake.  A few seconds later, Mr. Sheldrake enters Baxter's corner office as he is packing up for the day and tells him that he gave him the wrong key.  Baxter states that he gave exactly the key that he meant to and that if this is what it takes to get the job, he can cram the job where the sun don't shine.  You go, Baxter!  Ms. Kubelik and Baxter presumably live happily ever after, but not before one of the most genuine, heart-touchiung scenes ever committed to celluloid over a simple game of Gin Rummy.

I have a harder time finding any criticism with The Apartment.  It is a near-perfect tale.  It is hilarious at times, heart-wrenching at others and both most of the time.  It boasts some of the greatest ensemble talent ever assembled and one of the greatest leading men of the past generation.  I can't say enough about Jack Lemmon as an actor.  He is beautiful.  That really is all there is to say.  Rare is the handsome man with perfect comedic timing, and Lemmon is his name-o.  If I were to change anything about The Apartment it would be that it occasionally slips further into gloom than I feel is necessary.  It at times loses sight that it is, in fact, a comedy.  While the suicide plot-line is absolutely necessary, I'm not sure that we need to see the brutal treatment of the doctor slapping Ms. Kubelik around to wake her up.  But I hesitate to even make these criticisms as to change anything about this film would be to bastardize it in some small way.

The Apartment and Some Like It Hot are classics now and were classics from the moment Wilder put pen to paper.  I don't think you'll find too many people who deny that.  But why?  Well they embrace what they are.  And rather than trying to revolutionize storytelling, they just strive to be the best at what they are.  And they succeed.  Some Like It Hot paved the way for The Apartment the following year.  Billy Wilder was Hollywood's funny-man.  Think a gentile Woody Allen of the golden age.  And the straightforward buffoonery of Some Like it Hot allowed him to explore deeper, darker comedy in The Apartment.  He was smart.  He kept what worked.  He shot both in black-and-white though technicolor had been the primary medium for over a decade, and he had faith that his leading man could make the leap from screwball comedy to dark comedy (some might even say drama).  Wilder gave us, with these 2 films, a permanent homage to a very particular place and time in Hollywood that people of my generation never got to experience.  And I thank him.

Overall Ratings
Some Like It Hot- 8/10
The Apartment- 10/10