Thursday, July 21, 2011

Features- 5 movies that are American as Hell

With the realease of Captain America: The First Avenger mere hours away, I thought I'd take a look at some other movies that just scream America from top to bottom.  Be warned- patriotism of these levels may just start another war.

Team America: World Police

This one may be a little obvious but there is no denying its American...-ity.  Just try to watch this movie without, at least once yelling "America: F*ck Yeah".  It can't be done.  Not even by the hippest of hippies.  It just can't be done.

The Sandlot

I know that there are tons of movies out there about the sport that is "as American as Apple Pie", but none of them hold a candle to The Sandlot.  It has everything- kids with a dream, the fourth of July, a really hot chick being tricked into intimacy with a guy 1/3 her age.  Okay, that last one may not be all that American, but still, what is more American than some good old fashioned CHAW?

Die Hard

All-American, Bruce Willis just wants to take down some foreigners.  Without any real help from the police, or even the feds, this is the definition of bleeding red, white, and blue.  Hey John McClane, what do you say to defending a giant office building from some Krauts?  John McClane- "Yippee Kay Ay, Mother F*ckers".

Top Gun

I'll be the first to admit, I don't like Top Gun.  It is hard for me to watch this movie without wanting to punch Tom Cruise in the face.  And I'm one of the 4 Tom Cruise fans left.  But you have to admit- big explosions, sand volleyball, blind patriotism- It has America written all over it.

The Jerk

"But Dustin, this movie doesn't have anything to do with America", you might say.  Oh how wrong you are.  the movie centers around a complete idiot who, by pure dumb-luck, manages to become a multi-millionaire for a really stupid product, most likely assembled by toddlers in Korea.  It doesn't get much more American than that.

God Bless America!

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Am I awesome, or just a Jerk? Let me know. I promise not to bite, unless you happen to be bacon. In which case I'd like to know how you got off my sandwich and gained consciousness. But I digress...